Understanding Eating Disorder Relapse as a Part of Healing
Recovery from any form of illness or addiction is seldom a linear pathway. It involves a complex process of healing, growth, and self-discovery. For those struggling with eating disorder recovery, it can feel really disheartening and shame-inducing, especially if you felt you were doing ‘so well.’
I can’t count the number of ups and downs in my own journey as I moved towards recovery, but I do know that there were many lows right after the breakthroughs. Sometimes it felt like I’d moved ‘too far backwards’ to justify the work ahead, or I was being ‘punished’ for ‘moving too fast.’
So, for anyone who needs to hear it, I’m here to tell you that relapse is NOT a sign of failure, but rather a common aspect of the recovery journey that can be transformed into a learning and strengthening experience
Here are my 5 tips for managing relapse.
1. Identify Your Triggers: Relapse often stems from complex interactions between biological, psychological, and social factors. For instance, stress, significant life changes, or even seemingly positive events can trigger old habits and thought patterns.
Keep a journal to note down situations, emotions, and thoughts that may have contributed to the relapse. Understanding these can help in developing strategies to manage them effectively. My personal triggers were tiredness, big social events involving eating, and feelings of overwhelm!
2. Seek Support: Encouragement and reassurance from loved ones, combined with professional guidance, can help transform relapse into a springboard for renewed effort and hope.
Reach out to your friends, family, or support groups when you sense the warning signs of a relapse. A strong network can provide encouragement and practical help to stay on track. (If you don’t have a support network you feel comfortable in confiding in, drop me a line to see if coaching might help!)
3. Plan ahead. Work with your treatment team to create a personalised plan that includes coping mechanisms for stress, strategies for dealing with triggers, and a clear action plan for seeking help when needed. I used to take myself off to bed (for a nap) if I felt like I was going to start engaging in my ED behaviours. Calling a friend as a means of distraction also helped.
4. Reframe your Thinking. The emotional landscape that accompanies a relapse can be fraught with guilt, shame, and frustration. It's essential to navigate these emotions with compassion and understanding. Sometimes your relapse will be serving as a powerful reminder of your need for continuous self care.
So, rather than beat yourself up about relapsing, use it as a motivator for recovery. Think of your stumbling as a practice round, to improve the next time you try something again.
5. Share your Experience (if/when you feel comfortable)
This is only for when you feel comfortable, and it might take a while (if ever) to feel ready.
The societal stigma associated with relapse can exacerbate feelings of isolation. It's important to challenge this stigma by fostering open, non-judgmental conversations about the realities of recovery. Sharing experiences of relapse can empower individuals and communities, breaking down barriers of silence and shame. I certainly found stories of recovery despite relapse really encouraging, and my hope is that this blog encourages you!
Remember, every step taken, no matter how small, is a step towards a healthier and more fulfilling life.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this article – please drop me a line on info@mayyoumend.com
Kirsty x
