A very busy May- and how busyness can stifle eating disorder recovery
It’s been a while since I’ve written. I had a very busy May - presenting workshops for organisations such as the University of Dundee and Shmu, appearing on the radio, preparing for two overseas trips, working with my lovely coaching clients, supporting my husband’s business, applying for grants, and of course, the general busyness that comes from raising a family.
I was stressed. My brain was in a million places. I joined parties late and left them early so I could finish the work I needed to do to meet deadlines. I slept poorly, I snapped at my kids, and I worried a lot.
Why am I telling you this? Because busyness is (you guessed it!) exhausting - and for even the most extroverted of souls (I happen to be one of them), it can lead to burnout. And it certainly doesn’t help in the eating disorder recovery journey.
I see this a lot with my clients. Tackling too many changes at once, attending to the needs of others in place of their own, saying yes to things when they really should say no. Not practicing prioritisation. Busyness can really stifle recovery, as we’re too tired to think straight. We aren’t able to reflect on our progress and take stock. We struggle to be present in the moment with so much on our minds and we want the easy option. And often the easy option means not changing the status quo. Giving in to behaviours that we know take us further from the direction we want to travel in, but are easier to do in the moment. A month like May would have definitely pushed me over the edge in the early days of my own recovery.
Thankfully, I have been recovered for many years, and eating disorder behaviours are no longer appealing to me. However, I still struggle with setting boundaries with my time and not resting enough. My default is still to do, rather than just to be, and I am a work in progress.
Thankfully, I knew there was an end to my busyness. I closed the month of May off with a holiday away with my family. (See picture below of beautiful Rhodes, Greece!) It was two full weeks of reading books, eating food I didn’t have to cook, and making memories. Absolute bliss!
Do you know what else I did? I gave myself a bit of a talking to - I reminded myself of the importance of practicing what I preach. I remembered how wonderful it feels to have time to reflect, to rest, and to just be. I was reminded that by building in rest, even during a very busy season of my life, I can serve my clients better and improve my own wellbeing.
When I got back from my leave, I opened up my summer calendar and juggled things around. I cancelled a couple of back-to-back events, because I knew I wouldn’t have the bandwidth to fully enjoy them. I prioritised the needs of myself and my family by leaving space for future spontaneity. I built in a bit of extra time for the boring but very time consuming life and business administration tasks. I chose one personal goal to prioritise. I’m a month into my new routine, and finding it much more manageable from a physical, mental, and spiritual perspective.
Although we can’t always escape overseas when we need rest, we can make decisions around what we choose to spend our time on. Sure, we all have obligations (work, finances, health, family commitments to name a few), and some of us are much more time-poor than others, however, we all have a busyness boiling point! If you are in active eating disorder recovery, do make sure you to pay attention to your busyness. Recovery is difficult enough and requires energy - don’t let busyness make it even harder!
Please do drop me a line if anything came up that you’d like to discuss, or if you’d like to explore eating disorder recovery coaching.
Until then, I’ll be dreaming of Greece!
Kirsty x
